“I put the grrr in groovy baby.” – Austin Powers
Well, the movers are coming tomorrow so it’s going to be one hell of a day. We are moving across the street to a better apartment complex. I say better because we will actually have our own washer and dryer for the first time in several years. Yeah baby, yeah!
Say goodbye to that piece of shit laundromat. Now we can actually have clean clothes without any strange and bizarre stains from someone else’s rot gut detergent or skank-a-delic laundry residue.
No more broken, busted, bitched up washing machines that laugh at you every time you put money in them, praying that this might be the one day when they actually work.
No more screeching dryers that sound like they are going to launch through the ceiling at any given moment. Yes, these are the same spiteful mechanized bastards that never actually dry your clothes.
No more having to dodge the little sneak attack piles of dog shit that eagerly wait for you just outside the laundromat. Oh, it’s real pleasant when you have your flip-flops on. Try it sometime. I’d be interested in hearing your feedback on the experience.
No more ignorant, drunk neighbors ripping up the lovely spit-shined community staircase like a heard of wild elephants at 2:00 AM in the wee hours of the night. Last time that happened, I fell out of the damn bed and slammed my head on the friggin’ night table. It’s a good thing I didn’t have a gun that night.
Now we will have our own private staircase at the new joint along with a pristine view of the mountains and gorgeous skyscapes. It is amazing to see out here.
As you can tell, Diane and I are very happy about the move. What this means for yours truly is a complete system shutdown for the next few days. No computer. No graphic design. No electronic correspondence. OMG!
This email represents the last communique to be spit out of my trusty ol’ Apple G4 idiot box or my Windows XP smut machine as they will both be getting a well deserved rest for a couple of days. I am looking forward to being back up and running by the time Saturday rolls around.
My cellphone will be on as always. For those of you that need to, contact me by phone. In the meantime, behave yourselves – or just do whatever I wouldn’t do. That should help you narrow the margin.
In either case, I’ll be back.